recipe for the 'perfect' man. lol.

okay, okay... not perfect by any means... but just those little (and big) things that I want in a guy. :)


As you get older... husband prospects change... and what you want changes. I've always said I've wanted a Godly man first and foremost, but there are a few things that are not necessary, but I think it would aid in the attraction because of my life goals and what I like. lol. I know that sounds awful... but it is the God honest truth. So here I am... about to rewrite what I want in a Godly husband. and quite possibly what I've wanted all along and just dismissed it. lol. mind you, I'm writing this while my boyfriend and I 'take a break'. I haven't any idea what that actually means except that he needs to work on some things with himself and with the Lord. and that's something that I cannot do with him (not at this stage of our relationship, if we were married this would be completely different).

So here is this list that I may add to later. lol.

1. Godly man: not only a relationship with the Lord, but one that is producing fruit and growing. A relationship that I see and want. And it would definitely help if our doctrine agreed. lol. Reformed Theology!

2. Respect for my parents, family, and me. I don't think I need to elaborate, but a close relationship with my family is very important to me. and I want that close relationship with his family.

3. Optimism: I feel that life can really suck if you want it to and be really awesome if you want it to. You just have to change your thinking. I chose to see trials, sufferings, and hurts in a way that will bring Glory to the Lord. I know this is because of my relationship with the Lord, but I also know that I can change how I look at my sucky job/job hours and put a positive spin on it. For instance, working graveyard shift frees my time between 2pm and 9pm where I get to see friends and family. Also, I know this is not permanent. It may be for a year or two, but I know that I want to find a position that I love.

4. An interest in nature. so this is not necessarily a requirement, but I just really love the outdoors even if I'm not doing a single thing but laying in the grass on a sunny day or laying in a hammock with the stars above. I love sunsets, trees, FLOWERS, and all of God's creation. I did put an emphasis on flowers for a reason. I really love flowers. I love to be given flowers, I love seeing flowers, I just love flowers.

5. a general knowledge of vehicles and woodworking. again, not a requirement, but one of my dreams is to fix up a house to be our dream house. an interest in these things would be nice.

6. finanically aware. this is a requirement. I don't mean that he shouldn't have student loan debt or a car loan, but I do mean he should be aware of his financial situation. A budget is necessary and working towards being debt free.

7. So I feel this should be like number 3 because of its importance, but I guess it doesn't matter because these things are not in order. but... I want him to be okay with being single. What I mean by that is that I want him to know himself... to like himself and be okay with being with himself. I understand the desire to be married and to have children because I, too, have that desire, but I also feel that I like myself enough and am okay with where I am at this point in my life that I'm okay with being single. In no shape or form do I NEED a man to complete me. This is not an independent woman rant, but rather a confidence rant. I know that the Lord can use me in my singleness and while being married.

8. good communication: I do not want someone that will blow up or walk away if things get rough. I want to talk it out or at least be able to say "I want to talk about this, but I need time to process things first". I think this requirement is very dear to me because quite frankly many men in my life are not good at that. They just run or yell then run. It makes me feel unvalued.

9. I need to finish this later....

Pet Peeves

Strange how someone can yell at you about something they heard from a third party and not let you tell your side of the story. strange. I was asked for my observations, I gave my observations. Pretty simple. I won't lie to my boss.


Pet Peeves recently:


1. Not listening while someone else is talking.


2. Interrupting while someone else is talking.

Settling in to a new way of life.

So a life update.

just finished 3 months at my job. I'm working 10pm - 6am so the hours aren't great, but it is a full time job with good insurance. I'm also going to school full time. I don't know what I was thinking. This is hard and anyone to tell you differently is wrong. lol.

I've done a lot of growing up in the last 4 months since my grandmother's death and sometimes I feel like all I can think about is how different life is and has been. It is hard to not have her here. She was my best friend, so sometimes I find myself feeling a bit lost without guidance. If she taught me anything, it was to follow Christ and to love like He loves... including myself. With that being said... I have made choices and will continue to make decisions for me and my future and how the Lord wants to me to pursue life.

3 month update... okay maybe 4 but who's counting.

So since my last post I've lost my grandmother that I call Mama, lost my job, got kicked out of school (for having 3 C's), and broke up with my boyfriend. Some of those things I grieve for, like my grandmother and my job, the other two was for the best. And yet after all that has gone on... I couldn't be happier with what is happening. I mean, only the Lord can truly give me peace, love, and reliability. It has made me strong. Maybe I am just saying this because I'm still numb to everything, but I don't think so. My life could feel really dark right now... but it doesn't. I really thought that without my Mama, without my job, and without work, I would be miserable. I'm not. I'm so happy.

So, I have a job. Not an ideal job. and by that I just mean the hours are rough and the position isn't the position I would want for the rest of my life, but it IS a job... and after 40 days of unemployment I was happy to begin work. :) I applied at nearly 60 positions. 3 call backs.

too tired to write any more. will update again soon... or probably in another 3 months. haha.

Forever Sealed by His Death and Resurrection

I've experienced a hint of His eternal joy that outweighs any sorrow, despair, or hardship I may ever have. My life is owed to nothing less than Perfection. It is His now and I must abide. Although my obedience has sometimes been tilted, He still seeks after me and reels me in. I am forever grateful for His unfailing love that keeps with me and never fails. His grace and mercy has been bestowed and I can do nothing in return but glorify Him and share my story of peace, love, and grace that was so miraculously given to me by the Christ that bore more than the spiritual being of every person ever created.

Need to blog...

I haven't blogged in a month and a half... and even that blog was short. I plan to blog again soon, but right now I have class in 15 minutes. :(

3 month update.

I feel like it seems I've fallen off the face of the earth.

Since my trip to North Carolina, I've spent my time with school work, work, and my grandmother. That's what my life has entailed. Not interesting, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

SCHOOL.
I ended the semester with 3 A's and 1 B. My GPA is back up... school was great.

WORK.
In the past couple of months, work has been normal. Inventory, new computers, and training a butt load of new employees.

MY GRANDMOTHER.
Most of the days of the past couple of months were bad, really bad. I started grieving for her and she hadn't died yet. She is still fighting... not very strong, but still fighting. Chemo has gotten really bad and she decided not to take it this week. I spent the entire Christmas break with her (besides my roadtrip to Bradley's wedding in Orlando).