He gives me a desire...
a desire to live somewhere new, not now of course, but in the future. As much as I love the Northshore... and Louisiana and I would looooove to live here, I am certain that He has called me to live elsewhere. I do not know where, but in time He will tell me. Maybe Baton Rouge, maybe Tennessee, maybe Pennsylvania, maybe Alabama, maybe Italy... I really don't know. I will follow Him in obedience.
Isn't it weird when the last thing you would ever want... is something that He starts to work in you? It is definately not an accident. He may want to just test that I will have a willing heart. I don't really understand at this point.
I no longer fear being alone. One year ago, I wrote in a prayer journal that I feared that I would never get married... that I would be alone forever. I needed someone or something. I can honestly say that is not the case anymore. Over the past year He has grown me in Him. He is what I want, what I need. Yes, I need Christ-centered community, but I do not feel that my life is not complete without a spouse. I still have a desire to be a wife, but my desire for a strong relationship with the Lord trumps it any day. He is my portion. I am in the place I need to be. That does not mean that I will never marry... it means that I am content with Him alone.
I cannot truly love until I worship Him and know my true identity that is found within Him. So... consider this my time to find my true identity that is found within Him... it has only just begun.
One of the books I'm reading... the book I quoted in my other blog. Relationships: a mess worth making. It is about dating relationships, friendships, and even broken relationships. It sure is eye-opening.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Quotes from a book I've been reading...
Quotes from a book I've been reading...
Relationships: A mess worth making by Time Lane and Paul Tripp
"Whenever the things you want become more important than God, your relationships suffer. Even when you make relationships more important than God, your relationships suffer! This is what sin does. It blinds us to our dependence upon God, turns us inward, and causes us to either fear or exploit others."
"When love for God is replaced by love for self, people either become obstacles that hinder goals or vehicles that promote them."
This particular chapter is about sin. There are 6 particular self sins it talks about: Self-Centered, Self-Rule, Self-Sufficiency, Self-Righteousness, Self-Satisfaction, Self -Taught. We all in some way have experienced these, some more than others. The world will even teach us that we should be this way. I found that self-sufficiency was a hard one to swallow. I am independent. I try so hard in my life to rely only on myself. I sacrifice intimacy and mutually helpful community. I have often been cold and distant. I seek independence and time alone. Although the world may tell me that it is good to only rely on myself... it is not. The body of Christ is a community. It's purpose is to be around... to be intimate. My reliance should not be of myself but on the LORD. Being distant only pushes me towards sin and it's fall.
Relationships: A mess worth making by Time Lane and Paul Tripp
"Whenever the things you want become more important than God, your relationships suffer. Even when you make relationships more important than God, your relationships suffer! This is what sin does. It blinds us to our dependence upon God, turns us inward, and causes us to either fear or exploit others."
"When love for God is replaced by love for self, people either become obstacles that hinder goals or vehicles that promote them."
This particular chapter is about sin. There are 6 particular self sins it talks about: Self-Centered, Self-Rule, Self-Sufficiency, Self-Righteousness, Self-Satisfaction, Self -Taught. We all in some way have experienced these, some more than others. The world will even teach us that we should be this way. I found that self-sufficiency was a hard one to swallow. I am independent. I try so hard in my life to rely only on myself. I sacrifice intimacy and mutually helpful community. I have often been cold and distant. I seek independence and time alone. Although the world may tell me that it is good to only rely on myself... it is not. The body of Christ is a community. It's purpose is to be around... to be intimate. My reliance should not be of myself but on the LORD. Being distant only pushes me towards sin and it's fall.
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